You cannot be late ..
No matter the date when you read ..
The Boarding Pass Invitations
Issued October 17th, 2006 : Cosmic Trigger
Consider this a cosmic wake-up call to Love.
Due to the nature of the oneness of all that is,
you cannot be too early, nor can you be late,
for no matter the time you read the invitations,
this invitational boarding pass, well read, works.
Imagine it ... an idea can empower reality in peace.
Imagine it ... an action can empower peace in reality.
Love is the reasons for the seasons of our thanksgivings.
~ ~ ~
The following is historical.
Annett : firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject Justice Must Finally Be Done: An Open Letter to Jim Sinclair, General Secretary of the United Church of Canada
Date Fri, November 5, 2004 12:12 pm
5 November, 2004
An Open Letter to Jim Sinclair, General Secretary of the United Church of Canada
It has been years since we worked together at St.
Andrew's United Church in North Bay, Ontario, where I
successfully interned in ministry under your
supervision, and saw the birth of not only my eldest
daughter Clare but my career as a United Church
I remember my last Sunday at St. Andrew's, when I
preached on the hard task of putting Jesus' call for
justice for the poor into practice in a world, and a
church, that prefers the easy way of social conformity
and comfort. You approached me after the service, and
embraced me, and you said to me,
"Not all of us are meant to walk the path you've
chosen, Kevin, but it is the same one that Christ
walked, and so he'll be beside you all the way."
In the fifteen hard and lonely years since that day,
Jim, I have not wavered from that path, and on that
difficult journey your words have often come back to
me to comfort me through many lonely nights.
I am speaking to you in that spirit today, as I appeal
to you and to the entire United Church of Canada to
look at and deal with the terrible injustice and
torture that has been inflicted on me, my children,
and many unknown and mostly poor people by officers of
I have tried on many occasions to explain my story to
members of the United Church and to the world at
large, only to encounter the same denial, abuse, and
violent resistance to the truth that the poor
themselves experience every day of their lives.
My story is not an easy one for any United Church
member to accept, for it shakes the very foundation of
their self-perception of belonging to what they
imagine to be a religious body committed to Christ's
teachings. Nevertheless, it is a story that they and
you must hear and accept if the shadow of Genocide and
murder that is part of our Christian heritage is
finally to be named and exorcized by God's light, and
As I said at my "de-listing" hearing that robbed me
forever of my career and calling in the United Church,
I have acted always according to my conscience and my
ordination vows to serve God, which is Truth, and to
do so out of a deep love for Christ's body and its
people. It is for this reason that I have never sought
to bring legal action against the United Church for
its wrongful dismissal of me and for the untrue and
libelous statements made by its officers about me.
On the contrary, I believe now, as always, that Truth
is the only weapon in the hands of a just person, and
that Truth alone survives the ravages of time and
Official Lies, no matter how pervasive and accepted
are the latter.
It is for this reason that I appeal to you as a caring
and reasonable man to look past the thick veil of
Official Lies that have been deliberately imposed over
the eyes of United Church members regarding my story
and my ministry, and to look clearly at the Truth that
I have experienced.
That Truth began for me on an August morning in 1992,
when I visited an elderly aboriginal man named Danny
Gus at his home in Port Alberni, B.C., where I had
just been hired as the minister of St. Andrew's United
After I had performed a quiet wedding service for
Danny and his partner Clothilda, Danny broke down and
told me of a young friend of his who had been murdered
by a supervisor at the United Church Indian
Residential School, not a hundred yards from where we
"They buried him in those woods out back and told us
never to say anything about it" sobbed Danny. "There
are a lot of our people buried in those hills. Lots of
kids who were killed at the residential school. The
church people know all about it, and they don't want
us in their church."
I began to hear many such stories in the poor
aboriginal homes I began to visit as part of my
pastoral duties. And out of a moral obligation, I
began sharing what I had heard with fellow clergy and
officers of the United Church.
I was not believed by my colleagues. I was even
threatened by them that I would lose my job if I kept
listening to stories of murders in residential
All during 1993 and 1994, I was told by senior United
Church officials not to believe aboriginal stories
about residential schools because, according to these
men, "Those Indians just hate us for taking away their
land" and "They've all got a grudge against the
church". After I was fired, these very same things
were later said about me by the same officials, when I
wouldn't remain quiet about the horrors of the
residential schools, and they claimed that my speaking
about murdered children was because I had a grudge
against the church for firing me and destroying my
family, livelihood and reputation.
Unpleasant truths are never believed, at first. As a
student of history, you know that hard truths are
first denied, and then mercilessly persecuted, and
finally universally accepted. This is no more true
than when it comes to the hidden history of church-led
Genocide of aboriginal people on this continent.
After Danny Gus and so many others had spoken their
stories to me, and my United Church colleagues had not
only denied these stories but threatened me for being
associated with them, I faced the kind of hard path
that you warned me of that last Sunday in North Bay: I
had to choose between the Truth and security - between
God and the world, if you like. And I chose the Truth.
In hindsight, it wasn't an easy choice, but it was an
inevitable one for me. I sensed, accurately, that
choosing Truth in that instance would destroy my old
life and everything I cherished. I saw my wife, my
children, my beloved place in a pulpit vanish forever
in a wave of violence and lies. But there was nothing
else I could do, and retain my integrity and honour
before God, and before my own children. I chose to ask
the United Church of Canada to stand by its stated
principles, to its supposed spirit, and to do what was
just and right towards its aboriginal victims.
Your colleague Brian Thorpe, who helped to arrange my
firing and delisting during 1995 and 1996, had this to
say about that choice by me:
"Kevin's problem, if he has one, is that he is
unwilling to compromise at times, unlike the rest of
us who have managed to survive in this institution."
(from an affidavit of January 22, 1996 by Rev. Bruce
Since the United Church has never publicly stated to
me or anyone else the specific reason for my
professional destruction and defrocking, I must assume
from this statement by one of your head officers that
my life and career was destroyed on the grounds that I
would not "compromise" my beliefs and actions -
specifically, in relation to the proven criminal
actions of the United Church towards native people.
Holding to one's principles and morals is indeed a
strange basis for firing and professionally
annihilating someone, especially within a church like
yours which prides itself on its humanity and
progressiveness. But the truth is that this is
precisely why I was fired and "delisted" by the United
Church, which punished me for not helping to conceal
the facts of Genocide I discovered.
That truth has revealed itself through the statements
of other church officials besides Mr. Thorpe. At my
delisting hearing in Vancouver on October 9, 1996,
Comox-Nanaimo Presbytery official Bob Stiven said
"We had no worries about Kevin until he began talking
about all those dead Indian children and the Lot 363
land deal. Then we had to do something." (Independent
Court Reporter Records)
Mr. Stiven, who helped arrange my firing, was not
exaggerating when he referred to "the Lot 363 land
deal" as the cause behind my immediate firing on
January 23, 1995. For in the course of my work with
residential school survivors while I was still a
minister in Port Alberni, I stumbled over the fact
that your church had engaged in the theft and
speculation of aboriginal land in Ahousat, B.C., in
order to profit its corporate benefactor, the logging
I was told the story of Lot 363 by Ahousat elders
themselves, like Chief Earl Maquinna George, who like
me was forced from the United Church after protesting
the sale of Lot 363 by the church. The Ahousat
people objected to the sale, too, but they were
completely ignored by your church, which profited from
the deal in the form of an $8000 gift from
MacMillan-Bloedel to First United Church in Port
Alberni during the same year that the deal was
When I learned about this corruption, and how it
totally violated the official Indian Land Claims
Policy of the United Church - which states that all
native land held by the church must return to the
original native nation, and not be sold to corporate
donors to the church - I immediately wrote to the
Comox-Nanaimo Presbytery to object to the sale of Lot
That was on October 17, 1994. A week later, Presbytery
officials began meeting secretly with my church board
to arrange my removal as minister at St. Andrew's,
which occured two months later, without cause, notice,
or any kind of review process.
By then, my ministry at St. Andrew's had flourished.
Attendance on Sunday there had tripled since I
arrived, and the pews were filled to capacity: an
attendance level that remained that high until the day
I was removed by your colleague Art Anderson - hardly
the sign of a "divided and alienated" congregation, as
your church officials continue to claim publicly about
The inhumanity and cruelty that suddenly descended on
me, my wife Anne, and our daughters Clare and Elinor,
is impossible to describe. On January 23, 1995, Art
Anderson handed us a letter that removed me
immediately as minister and demanded, without offering
a reason, that I submit to an unpaid "psychiatric
assessment" and "extensive pastoral retraining" if I
was to remain in ministry.
We were told that I was to be paid for only another
month, and that we had to move out of our home in the
church manse within three months, in the middle of
winter, with our daughter Clare still in kindergarten.
Anderson was cold and intractable, and refused to give
me a cause for my dismissal when I repeatedly asked
him for one. We were not offered an ounce of
compassion or support from him or anyone in the
officialdom of the United Church - just unilateral,
When I asked Art Anderson and Presbytery officials to
sit down and work things out with me, I was refused.
Your church officials didn't even answer our phone
calls until we hired a lawyer to speak with them. As
with your aboriginal victims who suffered residential
schools, United Church officers acquired a semblance
of humanity with us only once we threatened legal
Throughout this terrible time, the depth of anger and
potential violence inflicted on my family and I by
your officers was unbelievable. The day after my
firing, before anyone had mentioned lawsuits, I was
awoken at one in the morning and screamed at over the
phone by Presbytery official Phil Spencer,
"You had this coming, Kevin! So go ahead and try to
sue us! No-one has ever won against our church!".
Instead of acting as the "collegial body" towards me
that they were contractually obligated to be, Spencer
and other Presbytery officials spent their days after
my firing maligning me and my work to the St. Andrew's
congregation, and the world at large.
My parishioners were told, for example, that I had
"gone crazy" and needed to be replaced. Art Anderson
insisted that a statement to this effect be read from
my pulpit the Sunday after I was fired, which it was.
Even worse, the Loaves and Fishes food bank in our
church that I had established, and which was feeding
over three hundred mostly aboriginal families, was
summarily closed a week after I was fired, denying
children food and life in the middle of winter. Native
parishioners who were my friends and supporters at St.
Andrew's were suddenly barred from church, and
subjected to racist slurs.
It was claimed by your church, at that time, that it
"couldn't afford" the $1000 every month that it took
to sustain our Loaves and Fishes food bank. Yet
somewhere your church found the money the next year to
spend over $250,000 to delist me from its ranks!
Jim, why are your lawyers more in need of your church
funds than are the hungry native children of Port
These kinds of cruelties quickly crushed my little
family and our friends, and the circle of life I had
laboured so hard to build at St. Andrew's. Under the
stress of these attacks, my wife Anne left me and sued
for divorce within a year after I was fired, and was
told by Art Anderson that I would "never work in B.C.
again". Incredibly, Art Anderson and Phil Spencer
approached Anne in the months after I was fired, and
helped her in her divorce and child custody legal
action against me by providing her with confidential
church documents that claimed, falsely, that I was
As a result of this cruel and unethical interference
by your officers in our family life, Anne won custody
of my daughters Clare and Elinor, who have since then
never known me as a full-time father.
I suppose Phil Spencer felt I had that coming to me,
I wish I could say that this insane cruelty stopped
there, but it was only beginning. Two of my closest
friends and co-workers in my church, Mark Angus and
Krista Lynn, killed themselves out of despair for my
firing and the ending of the ministry with the poor
they shared with me. Krista could no longer feed her
children after your church closed our food bank, and
told me so days before she died.
"What's the point of trying to get the church to care
about us, Kev?" she asked me in agony just before she
overdosed on sleeping pills. "They tried to kill us
off in their residential schools and now they're just
finishing the job."
I had no answer for Krista then. Then, as now, the
blind hatred and violence of the church towards its
perceived "enemies" is unfathomable. But the truth is,
Jim, that your church has Krista's death to answer
Because of my firing, my family and friends were
dying. I could no longer work as a minister and feed
my children. I had to explain to Clare why she had to
leave all her friends in Sunday school and in Port
Alberni, and why her father was not preaching any
more on Sundays.
Have you ever had to struggle so with your children,
Jim? Have you ever had to deal with the shame and pain
forced on you by other, lesser people, while somehow
not allowing that cross to crush your self-esteem and
your worth in the trusting eyes of your children,
while all the time struggling to deal with a
My kids and I might have dealt better with this grief
and burden, Jim, if your church actually lived its
faith, and practiced acceptance, forgiveness and love.
But all my letters to United Church officials went
unanswered. All my appeals to church courts were
denied. And everyone I had known in the United Church
began avoiding me after they were told by a well
organized rumour and slander machine that "Kevin has
gone crazy and wants to destroy the church" and "Kevin
is making up lies about the church's treatment of
Naturally, these church-engineered smears against me
destroyed any hope I had of finding employment again
as a minister, and of recovering my lost dignity and
calling. And that, of course, was the point of the
But God was not dead, and miraculously, I did find
Christ's love still at work: not in your church, but
in unexpected people who came forward to share with me
the deeper truth of why my family and I were being
systematically destroyed by your church. These were
the aboriginal survivors of your so-called "Indian
Many of these people began suing your church at the
same time that I was being expelled from it, and I
began to be invited by them to their first healing
circles in Vancouver, where the horrible truth began
to be shared. Finding a courage I didn't think
possible, these men and women who had been sterilized
by your missionary doctors like George Darby in Bella
Bella, and tortured unspeakably at age three or four
by your church employees, somehow found the strength
to speak publicly about their torture, and the deaths
of so many of their friends.
And in February, 1996, the first group of these
aboriginal people sued your United Church and the
federal government for the crimes done to them in the
name of God.
Their lawsuit was announced on February 3. Days later,
on February 8, my former employer, Comox-Nanaimo
Presbytery, petitioned B.C. Conference to have me
permanently "de-listed" from United Church ministry.
This was not a coincidence, as their own lawyer
admitted on the first day of my "delisting" trial:
"Reverend Annett is not being recommended for
delisting because of any actions of his before or
during his ministry in Port Alberni, but because of
statements he has recently made concerning the deaths
of aboriginal children at the Alberni residential
school." (Statement of Iain Benson to panel, August
Don't you think that it is ironic, and more than
unjust, Jim, that I was expelled from my livelihood in
your church for saying something that your own
officers are now acknowledging to the press - that
Indian children died in your residential schools? That
fact alone is reason enough for my delisting and
expulsion from the church to be immediately revoked.
Another United Church minister and participant in
these events, Rev. Bruce Gunn, commented in similar
terms on the injustice of my delisting when he wrote
to me in 1999,
"I'm convinced your removal was orchestrated from
Toronto, from the church head office ... I think it's
obvious that the national office removed you because
they knew of the upcoming RCMP investigation, and of
the Ahousat land deal. They were in for a rought fight
and didn't want dissent from a Port Alberni pulpit."
(affidavit of Bruce Gunn, March 3, 1999)
My delisting from the church was an even greater
cruelty and farce than my actual firing, if such a
thing is possible.
Imagine this, Jim: One day, you're fired from your job
as a minister by someone who isn't delegated to do so,
and who doesn't tell you the reasons for your removal.
He orders you to quit your job and go to a
psychiatrist of his choosing if you want to stay in
the church. You have one week to do so or you face
permanent expulsion from the church. This person
starts spreading lies about you all over town, but you
don't have the money or the means to hire a lawyer to
counter his lies about you.
Finally, after two years of being without work and
having your name and reputation ruined by this man and
his backers, and after your wife Donna has divorced
you with the help of this same persecutor, you are
ordered by him to report to a trial in which your
future in the church will be decided.
The judge at this trial (Jon Jessiman) is the lawyer
for the very man and group who fired you. The hand
picked jury is made up of his friends and associates.
You are not granted any legal representation, but your
persecutor has a full-time lawyer making a case
You are told by the judge that there are no charges
against you but that you are expected to explain why
you shouldn't be expelled from your career in the
church. You are not allowed to face your accusers or
see the evidence against you, or to know the basis for
or the rules governing your expulsion from the church.
And yet somehow you are expected to mount a defense of
yourself when you are already presumed to be guilty.
Finally, all the witnesses called against you are
friends or associates of the judge, jury and
prosecuting attorney, and are openly hostile to you.
Their "evidence" is all based on hearsay, since they
have never seen you work in ministry or even preach a
sermon. And the judge himself has been making
prejudicial remarks about you towards the jury, and
continually rules your objections and calls for fair
treatment to be out of order.
Jim, if you somehow endured the torture of such an
inquisition, you would quite naturally ask how, and
why, it was allowed to take place in a democratic
nation, where citizens are normally accorded due
process under the law. And you would hardly doubt what
the verdict of such a kangaroo court would be
concerning your fate.
And yet this is precisely what I went through between
August 28, 1996 and March 7, 1997, when I was - not
surprisingly - permanently expelled from United Church
ministry, with this warning from trial "chair" Mollie
"If you fail to abide by the decision of this court,
Reverend Annett, you and Reverend Gunn will face dire
On that one occasion, Ms. Williams was not lying. For
since that day, your church has continued to inflict
torture and harrassment on me because I have spoken
publicly about what I and so many others have suffered
at your church's hands.
Shall I list but some of those tortures caused by your
church since then?
1. Three separate Cease and Desist Orders, issued
against me and my advocates, which tried to halt my
freely speaking about what occured at the delisting
2. A legal writ threatening me with legal action if I
ever speak about the deaths of native children at the
Alberni residential school;
3. The interference by church lawyers in my marriage,
my Ph.D. program at the University of B.C., and in my
work and job applications at the Unitarian church and
4. A sustained, public smear campaign against me over
the internet and in United Church publications, posing
as "reports" about my delisting and work with native
people, which has ruined my public reputation and
5. Physical attacks made against me by persons
associated with your United Church in Bella Bella, BC;
6. The theft of my belongings and documents by your
colleague and church official Brian Thorpe in broad
day light at a press conference;
7. The cancelling of my lectures and church services
after direct intervention by your officers.
This letter does not allow me the space to list all of
the indignities and assaults made by your church
against me since 1995 because I chose not to
remain silent about and complicit in wrongs and crimes
done by your church. My children, my friends, and
untold countless aboriginal people have all paid the
terrible price of your church's refusal to take
responsibility for its own shadow and evil.
You have a personal choice to make now, Jim. You can
do what your lawyers and public relations advisors
told all of your predecessors, and that is to deny
what I am saying, and counter it with a lot of
expensive, cooked-up "evidence" that tries to make me
look like a liar. You can even claim, in the words of
your deranged colleague Phil Spencer, that "Kevin had
this coming to him".
Or, you can do something far simpler and more right,
which will cost you your job. You can simply know the
truth, and speak it, as I have done.
That truth is all around you. It is in hundreds of
secret burial sites all across Canada, in Port
Alberni, Alert Bay, Abbotsford, Thunder Bay, and
elsewhere, where the children who died in your
residential schools were shoved away so the world
would never know their fate.
The truth is in the bodies of the women and men who
your missionary doctor George Darby forcibly
sterilized because they wouldn't go to church.
The truth is in every lost soul who takes her own life
because your church still hasn't admitted all of the
crimes it inflicted on her. I have conducted the
funerals of many such people, and the tears of their
relatives have not been halted one millimetre by all
of your church's psuedo "apologies" and insulting
crumbs of "financial compensation".
If you have the courage and the love to look at these
horrible truths, Jim, you and your church have a
consequential obligation to help the survivors of your
Holocaust recover the remains of their friends and
relatives who never came back from your "residential
schools": at least 50,000 children, according to the
government's own projected death rate of at least 50%
every year in the residential schools. (see: http://
canadiangenocide.nativeweb.org and my book "Hidden
from History: The Canadian Holocaust")
Will you help identify where these children are
buried, Jim? I expect an answer from you.
As a nominally "religious" man, I expect you to be
committed to the task of ensuring that every person
receives a proper burial, according to their own
customs - especially when your own church is
responsible for their death. Since your church speaks
continually of "healing" residential school crimes,
isn't the re-interring of native childrens' remains a
first, most basic step towards such healing?
Whether or not you agree with me, and take action to
identify the secret burial sites of these children,
isn't the point, in the final analysis. For here's the
irony, Jim: as much as you may agree with me, your
lawyers will never let you tell us where those
children are all buried. For it is not God, or even
your personal consciences, but lawyers, who now steer
the course of the United Church of Canada. I have
learned this through hard and bitter experience.
But even that isn't important, ultimately. For you and
your United Church have already been found guilty
under both moral and international law for Crimes
against Humanity. And as such, you are not in a
position to do anything now but face justice.
Let me clarify. Since May 20, 1998, when your church
and its officers received a Diplomatic Summons to
answer charges of having committed every crime defined
as Genocide by the United Nations, you have had the
opportunity to give your answer to the claim of
Genocide made against you by hundreds of aboriginal
eyewitnesses. And you have never done so.
Silence is consent under the law that binds you and I,
and after more than six years of your silence in
response to being charged with mass murder, it is
clear that your church, and the Catholics, Anglicans,
Presbyterians, and the Canadian government, are all
stating by that silence that you do not dispute the
allegations made against you.
That being the case, under the Nuremburg Legal
Standards and every international convention on
Genocide, you and your church members are
considered to be part of a "rogue and criminal body"
as defined by international law, because of your
church's committing of deliberate Genocide on
generations of aboriginal people in Canada.
Your so-called "compensation" and written "apologies"
to residential school survivors are irrelevant to your
criminal status, for they do not respond to, explain,
or do away with the crimes committed by your church.
For example, if you, Jim Sinclair, murdered my child,
and tortured, sterilized, and secretly interred many
other innocents, you would not be able to elude
justice simply by issuing an "apology" to your
victims. Then why do you assume that your church is
able to do so?
Clearly, it cannot, under any moral or legal system.
And yet you are part of an institution that is trying
to do so, and is succeeding, simply because you and
the government do not have to answer to justice, being
the very institutions that did these crimes, and then
covered them up.
While you have relied on the courts and government to
shield you from your victims and from justice, your
church is nevertheless a pariah in the world
community, and under international law can and must be
actively boycotted until the day that it is made to
answer for the crimes it committed.
On that day, you, Jim Sinclair, as a head officer of
the United Church of Canada, may have to stand trial
for complicity in Genocide before a world court.
Your church is succeeding in escaping and perverting
justice, for now. But as Martin Luther King observed,
"The moral arm of the universe is long and slow, but
it bends towards justice. No lie can be enthroned
You do remember Martin Luther King, I hope. You used
to quote him all the time in your sermons. Perhaps you
still do. But like the Bible and God, he witnesses
against you, not for you.
Destiny makes each of us face the truth at some point,
Jim. I just had to face it sooner than you. I used to
think that I was the unlucky one for having lost
everything, and that people like you were somehow the
winners in life, with your fanfare of official
recognition and cozy jobs and pretentious religiosity.
But God is turning the tables on all that. God is
ending your reign of lies.
Don't believe me, if you prefer. You won't be allowed
to believe me, anyway, not if you want to keep your
nice job and title and self-justifications. Your own
sense of things won't allow you to agree with me.
The right thing for you to do, after all, is for you
to apologize personally to me and to my children - to
Clare, who you held when she was a newborn baby - for
the nightmare your church has put us through, and
still inflicts on us, because I dared to challenge the
crimes of that church, in love and truth. You must
apologize to me and to Clare and Elinor, in public,
and go beyond words by helping to undo the damage done
to our lives.
But you probably won't do such a thing, for it will
cost you your job. So don't believe me, Jim.
Believe, instead, something that we both shared one
day in December, 1988, shortly after I began working
as an intern at your church in North Bay. It was a
terrible and heaven-sent message to us both that came
in the form of the dead baby of a couple whose
identity must stay unnamed, for the sake of their
dignity. But you know who I mean.
You and I were called to St. Joseph's hospital one
morning, where my own child was to be born the
following month. We entered the emergency room, and
there stood the mother and father, holding their dead
two month old baby girl in their arms, all blue and
You and I were suddenly faced with the insane and
unhealable reality of pointless death, right in our
face: meaningless death, for it was of an innocent and
Wisely, you said nothing. You wanted to, I could see.
Your training as the professional fixer kept prompting
you to do so, but your heart, your humanity, suffered
with the parents, who were past tears, past everything
and everyone except their own agony. And in your
suffering with them, you could only mourn in silence.
We held them for awhile. You tried saying a prayer,
but it sounded silly and forced. Then we parted, with
very little having been said.
You looked like you were going to cry as we drove back
to the church, but you never did. You managed
everything so competently, like you were expected to
do; like you are still expected to do, but now for the
entire church as its "General Secretary".
But you should have cried, Jim. You should have cried
as I was doing, and screamed your anger and rage at
the crime you had just witnessed, and yelled
obscenities at the force that would murder children
that day, yesterday, and tomorrow. Then I would have
believed you when you preached the next Sunday about
But you didn't cry.
Jim, now is the time for you to cry, and mourn, and
scream your outrage for the tens of thousands of
little children like Megan who died for no reason: not
because of a vague "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome" in a
comfy Caucasian household, but because they were
whipped to death, or sodomized, or sterilized, or
starved and exposed to tuberculosis on purpose, at
Indian residential schools run by your church, paid
for by your church, and staffed by your people who
still go to church and sleep soundly at night.
You must cry for your own complicity in these crimes.
You must cry for all of the honest souls like me who
you must help to destroy and villify to protect the
money and institutional liability of your church in
the face of the survivors of your crimes.
You must cry for the murder that has been done, and is
being done, and will be done, in your name: you, Jim
That is all you can do, as you stand over the corpses
of those unheard and forgotten murdered children,
whose spirits will never rest or stop haunting you
until you mourn from your guts: mourn, in the absence
of safe apologies that change nothing, of easy
solutions that solve only white liberal guilt, for
there are no answers to crimes done against God and
her holy innocent ones.
If you trust your own heart on this, Jim, and not what
you have been taught and are told to do by stuffed
shirts who don't know any God but their accountant,
then you will learn what I have after much loss: that
salvation is possible, even for crucifiers like us.
But that saving grace will not be found in your
church, or in your present life. You'll have to die to
all that first to know what I mean.
A good man who you like to quote all the time said
that himself. Will you listen to him, and be changed
by him, at last, and not just quote him on Sundays?
It might take the pointless deaths of people like me
and Megan and all those aboriginal kids to finally
awaken you to what Jesus was saying about dying to be
born to eternal life. But it's not theology, Jim. It's
not about religion at all.
Take a step into the wilderness with us, Jim, where
burning bushes show us the way. Come to the bedside of
dying aboriginal victims of your religion and beg,
publicly, for their forgiveness, for it is not they
who need healing, but you and your church.
As formal head of the United Church of Canada, take
personal responsibility for the crimes of your church.
Close your church down, in mourning, and give away all
that it possesses to the poor and to your aboriginal
victims. Fire your lawyers and PR guys. Empty your
church bank accounts to feed the hungry. If you still
believe Jesus, you will be blessed, alongside the
countless lives you will save.
But that won't be the real blessing. There, in the
wilderness of your sudden poverty and helplessness,
after "polite" church and society has abandoned and
pilloried your old life, you will encounter One who
has stood by me when I contemplated suicide after I
lost my children; the One who has kept me walking with
your victims in the face of scorn and attacks and all
the filth thrown at me.
Away from the numbing lies of your world, you will
meet that One in the wilderness, where you will be
forever transfigured into who you really are: his
child, blessed and loved and capable, finally, of
bringing life to the dead, hope to the defeated, and
substance to all of your nothing words that you now
keep saying so pointlessly, as you quote Him from
within the belly of a "church" that hates Him and has
murdered Him, again and again, in His innocent ones.
You and your "church" stand under divine judgement,
Jim, not in the future, but now, already. You have
been judged and found covered in blood and lies. But
there is still a way out. Little Megan showed us how.
I will pray tonight for you and for the ending of all
that you are and know and are a part of, brother Jim.
For the sake of that love which cannot be known or
spoken, and which summons us to the end of the corrupt
and the beginning of the incorruptible,
your friend from the wilderness,
Kevin Daniel Annett / Caoimhin Ui Niall
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